I’m downright restless. I can even feel it in my body. I wake up in the night with a start and a yell because my legs are literally kicking and thrashing. I’m constantly running, either to or from something, in my nightmares, and then I wake up to discover, my body is literally running. But I can’t figure out what I am running from. I mean, in the dreams, I am running from zombies, strange men dressed in black and chainmail on horses, unknown unseen assailants that I can just sense are closing on me, and the weirdest one yet, was running from poplar trees (or maybe aspen…couldn’t tell for sure) who would bend and twist in these contorted ways to try to grab me and hold me back. In the dreams, I am not only running away from there, but I am also trying to get somewhere. Somewhere important, where someone is urgently waiting for me. And I don’t know what I am supposed to take with me! I often dream that I forgot something important at the beginning of my journey or that I lost it somewhere along the way. Oh! And this dream I hate even more…..that I have a whole pile of stuff that I am supposed to take with me, but I can’t find a way to carry it. Sometimes then I actually find something….a bag, a basket, etc. but then it keeps breaking. Like, are you fucking kidding me!? Another re-occuring theme is that I encounter a group of orphans in the woods, or trapped in a warehouse and it becomes obvious that it is my responsibility to rescue them, get them somewhere safe, BUT those assailants behind us are now trying to get them too. And I still can’t figure out where the hell I am supposed to be going.
I’ve had these types of dreams most of my life, but lately, there are vivid and disturbing again. When I wake up, the unknown chasers are gone, but the sense of urgency remains. The restlessness lingers. The inner need to be prepared for whatever might be next. But I still don’t know where I am supposed to be going. I guess I’ll just keep running.