Wallow if You Want To.

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So.  I’ve already admitted to dealing with some depression gone wild lately  (and in the past, and probably again in the future).   The next question always is what the hell do I do about it!?  I hate misery and its company.   And when I’m depressed, I’m miserable.  I feel miserable, I look miserable, I ooze miserable.  And sooner or later, I get to the point that oozing all this misery really doesn’t seem like a good long term option for me.  So I will have to start making plans to climb out of the cesspool of funk. But frankly, I’m not sure I’m ready.  I’ve been here before.

Sometimes, believe it or not, you just have to wallow a bit.   As depression worsens, it feels much like sinking into a deeper and oozier hole.  Kinda like quicksand.  According to Indiana Jones movies, sometimes the first thing you have to do is just stop fighting.  Stop squirming.  Stop thrashing around.  Just stop.  Now, I don’t mean give up the fight or the hope of climbing out of that hole, I just mean stop the sinking.  Just slow down, steady your breathing, regain control of the panic.  Come to terms with you situation.  Later you will have to assess your resources (stay tuned, you know I will write about that soon) and figure out how to implement them, but for now, you just have to stop.  Wallow (calmly) a bit.

In practice, this might mean taking a break from social events or extra responsibilities at work.  It might mean getting away from others for a whole weekend and marathon watching all the Harry Potter movies while eating copious amounts of ice cream from the carton.  It might mean sleeping in really late.  It might just mean not answering your phone.  And it very well might mean crying your eyes out in the dark while drinking whiskey.  Wallow if you want to.  Wallow if you need to.

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But know this……You can’t stay here.  You won’t.  You might have to set a time limit to your wallowing.  You might have to say, “Okay by Monday morning, I’m gonna come up with a plan, but this weekend, I’m gonna cry and carb load and swear a lot more than usual.”   Hold still for awhile, save your  strength.  Because there is hard work ahead.

 

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